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PLEASE FEEL MY PAIN

A little dramatic, huh?  Well, in my opinion… having to run on the treadmill 2 times in one week calls for a little drama….or a lot…you be the judge. 

If you’ve read at least one post from either Kristi or me this week you know that she is there and I am here.  It doesn’t really matter too much where there and here are the implication is that we are apart.  It follows that when we are apart we are not together.  When we are not together and I want to run at the butt crack of dawn and not get abducted by the family of deer, I must run on the treadmill.  This, ladies and gentlemen, is the cause of my pain. 

Because I am feeling pain, you will too.  In the name of entertainment and so you can show your friends, family and co-workers how bad I look pre, during, and post run, I typically insert several photos into my post.  Not today.  This post will be pure text and therefore may be relatively painful to get through.  So, here we go.

You know how I am the night before I have to do something that I may consider physically difficult.  I spend a lot of time rationalizing how easy the task will be.  Last night I decided the tempo run on the treadmill really wouldn’t be that bad because I only had to run 1 mile at an easy pace and then 5 miles at 8:59.  nbd. 

You also know how I get the minute I step on the treadmill.  My inner Christy Doodle Apple Strudel On Your Noodle Goodie Goodie Gum Drops comes out.  What?  You don’t know what that means?  Well, let me tell you.  It means the very immature side of me reveals itself.    You see when I was a very little girl this is what my dad called me.  Why, you ask?  I really have no idea.  It probably made me laugh or something.  I pride myself in being fairly even-keeled and mature so when this version of Christy is prancing around I get very uncomfortable.  An even-keeled mature person would just get through the workout.  She would watch the news, people watch or maybe even listen to music and just plow through the run.  Unfortunately, that is NOT how Christy Doodle Apple Strudel On Your Noodle Goodie Goodie Gum Drops responds.  That little brat finds every excuse she can to hop off the belt “for just a second.”  Want the list?  Well I’ll give it to you anyway:

1. Gosh I’m thirsty.  I NEED  at drink of water

2. My bladder feels funny.  I NEED to go to the bathroom

3. My shoes are too tight and my big toe is falling asleep.  I NEED to relace my right shoe

4. My knee feels really tight.  I NEED to stretch it

5. Sweat is pouring off of me and flying in every direction.  I NEED to wipe some of it off with this handy towel so that I don’t offend the guy next to me

…..and on, and on, and on.

Newsflash,  I feel all of these things on a regular ol’ North Campus run every Thursday morning but I just deal with them.  I don’t stop to  drink, or go to the bathroom, or relace, or stretch, or wipe down.  I just run. 

The treadmill brings out the worst in me and I hate that.  I hate that I become this immature little brat that just can’t deal with things not being perfect for a minute.  As they say running teaches us a lot about ourselves and much as I love the pet name my dad coined for me I’m glad that girl doesn’t hang around much. 

Speaking of my dad, you do know I’m running my very first marathon in his honor right?  I’m also raising funds for the Ann Arbor Public Schools Educational Foundation while I am honoring him at this race.  Please consider donating to my fundraising efforts.

Finally, Kristi asked me an interesting question this morning.  She asked if my runner’s high was the same when I’ve been on the treadmill v. the open road.  She asked that about 45 seconds after I had finished the run on the beast and my initial reaction was, “what runner’s high?”  I’m certain I won’t feel one after that miserable experience.  However, as I was working this morning, I reconsidered her question and came up with a different response.  I must say that physically I felt pretty good.  I had the same alive, energetic feeling running through my veins but emotionally it was a different animal all together.  Emotionally, I felt like I had failed.  I was frustrated that I let myself hop off of the treadmill no less than 5 times.  Of course, each time it was for about 7 seconds (don’t worry, I never did go to the bathroom) but it still made me angry that I couldn’t just get through the run without all of the excuses.  I spent a lot of time this morning judging myself.  Intellectually, I know this is ridiculous.  I also know the simplest way to solve this problem is to do what I enjoy and that is run outside.  Luckily, Kristi will be home soon and my dates with the treadmill will be few and far between.

Congratulations, you made it to the end of the texty post!  Just for that you get a gold star:

Yes, it's the moon, not the sun, so technically it's not a star but it did look really cool this morning!

P.S. Now you know why some people in my life call me “Doodle.”  As in short for: Christy Doodle Apple Strudel On Your Noodle Goodie Goodie Gum Drops!

P.P.S. – Happy Birthday, Kristi!  I hope you are having a great day.  Muwah!

 

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2 Comments Post a comment
  1. I am a very judgmental person. Sitting here in the second-floor condo in Siesta Key beach I look out on the beach and I cast several judgements-all for a variety of different reasons! I am also judging Prince Fielder right now of the Tigers because the Tigers paid him a gazillion dollars to levee Milwaukee and come to Detroit and here on opening day, at his second turn at bat HE STRIKES OUT!! I’m sorry, you make that much money, YOU SHOULD NEVER STRIKE OUT!

    April 5, 2012
  2. Damn slippery fingers on the key board-I didn’t mean to hit the return button! NOW, I am judging myself! But here is the thing….I would never, ever, ever, never, in a billion gazillion years JUDGE anyone for channeling their inner Christy Doodle Apple Strudel On Your Noodle Goodie Goodie Gum Drops while running on a tread mill. In fact, I judge the person who named that horrible machine-it should have been named a DREAD mill! That you did two workouts in one week on a dread mill-heck, you deserve to be the biggest brat ever! Go on with your bratty self! I’m glad that eventually you tapped into your physical runner’s high. Alas, do not fear! I will have you pick me up at 5:30 on Tuesday a.m. and we will go back to meet your love at S. State and Hoover!!

    April 5, 2012

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